


Only say my name, it will be held against you

by Bicarisi



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Daddy Kink, Feelings, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, M/M, Mpreg, Pre-Relationship, Smut, Trans Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 19:38:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19091731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bicarisi/pseuds/Bicarisi
Summary: Sonny and Rafael had been friends with benefits for over a year. But what happens when it becomes something more?





	Only say my name, it will be held against you

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for my partners birthday!! Happy birthday Lore my stardust!! I love you so much! 
> 
> They’ve talked about wanting barisi mpreg for a bit so here it is
> 
> I hope y’all enjoy it!

“/Jesus Christ/! Rafi…” Sonny moaned hard, laying his head back onto the tree and pulling his lover's hair hard as he ate him out. “D-daddy I need you in me, please I’ll be good.” He moaned even louder when Raf sucked on his clit. 

“Oh?” Rafael looked up to him, smirking a little bit with the hint of cum on his lips. “So you’re begging now? Never thought you would be the desperate type, baby.” 

“Rafi please- I need your huge cock-“ Sonny whimpered. 

“Well,” Rafael said, undoing his pants. “How could I say no to you?” He dragged Sonny up and lifted his legs opened and entered him. 

“Oh god- you’re so tight baby, I love how your pussy feels around my cock,” he thrusted more, going deeper into the taller man. “Fuck I’m close-“. 

Sonny felt his eyes roll back into his head and gasped, “Cum in me daddy- Fuck /please/!” He cried. 

Rafael only lasted a few more thrusts before he pulled out and laid next to the blonde man, who was still panting. 

“Are you Okay? Was that good?” Raf asked, as if he was generally concerned he hurt him. 

“That was amazing- Fuck, maybe we should do that some other time?” Sonny looked while he was getting dressed. “I mean, if you want to...” 

He and Rafael had been doing these kinds of things on and off for the past year. Sonny always wanted to take their relationship farther than whatever this was, but Raf liked no strings attached. 

So Sonny dealt with it. 

“Uh,” The shorter man started, zipping his pants back up. “Yeah, sure I mean... You are great and everything…”

Sonny stopped, “You know what? Uh, just forget about it.. I’ll see you at work?”.

Raf helped him up and brushed the dirt off both of them. “Yeah... see you on Monday, Carisi.” 

About a month went by. Sonny hooked up with Raf a few more times, but he had started to feel light headed and dizzy on most days. 

Sonny was dazed off at work, he stared off at his pitched black laptop screen. It took a good five minutes for Amanda to get his attention.   
“Hey Carisi, you Okay? I think we got a body down at Central..” Amanda stood above him. “What? Yeah, yeah.. I’m coming ‘Manda,” Sonny said. He grabbed his coat and they went. 

There wasn’t anything too brutal about the body, just a single gunshot wound on the head, but Sonny felt sick, and he didn’t know why. 

He ended up throwing up in a nearby trash can. 

“I- no, fuck- this can’t be happening-“   
“Hey Sonny? Are you alright? I’ve-“ Sonny felt her voice carry off. It couldn’t be possible that he was pregnant, could he be? What would he tell his family? What would he even tell Rafael? This made him felt sick again. 

Then Amanda interrupted his thoughts again, “Hey,” she started softy, “why don’t you go and sit down for a bit? I’ll take care of this,” she patted him on the back and he nodded. He sat on a nearby bench and didn’t know what to do or think. 

When Amanda was about finished taking to the victims family, she sat down next to him. 

“I think I need a pregnancy test.” He said suddenly but softly. He tried to hide the tears from forming. 

“I- yeah, let me just finish this up and I’ll go with you Okay? I’ll tell Liv to give you the rest of the day off. You’ll be okay, Sonny, I got you,” She thought for a moment. “You can come over in the morning and take it, I’ll call us both in late, alright?”. 

Sonny was still dizzy, only slighting nodding to her response. 

 

Sonny went over to Amanda’s apartment around nine a.m. she was in the middle of getting Jesse and Billie ready for the day and Sonny felt his stomach turn. Seeing his best friend with her children made him think, was he even ready to be a father?. 

“Uncle Sonny! Hi!” He heard Jesse yell, pulling him out of his trance. “Hey kiddo,” he smiled and picked her up, maybe I could get used to this; he thought. 

“Hey girls, how about we give uncle Sonny some private time Okay?, come on I’ll make breakfast.” Amanda said, taking both of her girls into the kitchen and looked back at Sonny, she gave him a worried but yet calming smile. Sonny thought, ‘what would I do without her?’. 

Waiting for the results was the longest ten minutes of Sonny Carisi’s life, he swears on it. 

It took him another twenty minutes for him to look at the test. 

It was positive. 

The whole world stopped, and seconds turned into hours for him. He didn’t know what to do or think. 

After a hour, Sonny was pacing around Amanda’s small apartment, having a hard time breathing and almost sweating. 

“I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna tell him! How am I supposed to bring it up? Just walk into this office and say ‘hey you know those hook ups we’ve been having? Well now I’m knocked up!’ Jesus Christ-“. 

“Sonny, you need to breathe. Are you even sure you’re pregnant? Hell, I had to take three different types of test to show that I was pregnant with Jessie.” Amanda tried to calm him, but it wasn’t working out that great. He was still pacing. 

“I-I don’t but- God, he doesn’t even want to have a real relationship with me, how is he gonna react to me having his child?” Sonny started to cry, Amanda went over to hold him. “Shhh… you’re gonna be okay,” she said. “Everything is gonna be okay; I promise.” 

The next day when he had to go to Rafael's office to drop off some paperwork for Liv, he remembered he was shaking so much that Carman had noticed. 

“H-here’s the case file you asked-“ Sonny looked like he was about to cry. All he wanted to do was to jump into Barba’s arms and never let go of him. 

“Carisi? You alright?” Barba had noticed, which made Sonny want to cry even more. 

Sonny gulped. “I- you remember when we went down to that spot by the tree about a month or so ago?” His eyes were red, he was trying not to look at Rafael straight in the eye. “Yeah?” Rafael squinted his eyes and looked confused. “What’s this about Detective?” 

“I-“ Sonny started before Rafael interrupted him. “Come on just spit it out already-“.

“I’m pregnant, Rafael.” He spat out. 

The room felt flat in silence for a few minutes before one of the men decided to speak again. 

Sonny’s eyes started to water. “Please say something Raf- please.” He felt his whole body shake and his stomach trimble; he thought about just getting up and running away just so he didn’t have to deal with the embarrassment of rejection. 

Rafael then cleared his throat, “Well,” he started; “How are you sure? I mean, I can’t be the only possible father can I?” 

“Wait. What is that suppose to mean?” Sonny flumed. “Yes, I’m positive you’re the only one Barba.” Rafael started again, “Well how exactly was I supposed to know?!,” he threw back. Barba then took a second to breathe. “A baby- I-.. wow.” He laid back into his desk chair; Sonny knew that Raf didn’t know what to say or think. 

“You can sleep on it- I don’t need to know now” he said softly, keeping his head down. Not wanting to look the other man in the eye and he turned to the door to walk out, in his mind he had hoped that Rafael would grab his wrist, asking him to stay but the other man did not move an inch. 

Sonny walked out with tears in his eyes, not saying a word to him. 

He tried his best to avoid Barba at all cost, even when he came over to ask updates on the case. How was he supposed to face the father of his child, who didn’t want to be the father? Sonny has never felt more stupid, he thought that maybe Rafael would love him. But maybe it was too much for Rafael. 

A week goes by and there was still no word from Barba, Sonny had thought to give up on making Rafael care for him. Instead; he was lying on his couch on a Tuesday night alone, mind racing on what he was gonna do. No matter what he knew his family will be disappointed, him having a child out of wedlock with the father not wanting to be in the picture made it worse. And he was terrified. 

His mind kept racing until the knock on the door pulled him out of thought. He stretched and looked at the time, who would be over this late? 

“Coming,” he yelled out, his voice was hoarse from crying and lack of sleep, he rubbed his eyes and went to the door. Not expecting Rafael Barba to be standing right in front of him. 

“I know it late,-“ the other man started, he looked nervous. “Can I come in Carisi?”. It took Sonny a second to realize this was happening “I- yeah, come in- can I get you anything?” 

“No thank you,” Rafael looked around the apartment, and then at Sonny. “So,” he cleared his throat “do you know how far along you are yet?” , “uh two and a half months, almost three I believe”, “Wow, thats uh. Fast?” Rafael was clearly uncomfortable, fixing his tie, trying to find out what to say but almost looked like he couldn’t bring himself to say it. 

They sat in silence until Sonny was the first one to say something. 

“So, what are you doing here Raf?,” sonny said while sipping on his water. 

“I, Sonny-“ Rafael almost never called him that. “I’m so sorry about this, about everything I just- I do have feelings for you, strong ones and I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything- I love you and I never wanted to hurt you but a baby that’s-“ he had to catch his breath, Sonny could see that he was getting overwhelmed. “A baby is so much, and I feel like I have ruined everything for you. I want to be here but I just- I don’t know how to be a father, or if I’m even cut out to be one I-I-“ he started to cry. Sonny had never seen the other man show so much before. “I want this to work, I really do but, how?”. 

“You said you love me-“ Was the only thing Sonny said. “You mean that? Since when?” Sonny didn’t know rather to blame the hormones or himself on the tears that ran down his face. 

“Since the first time I saw you I think,” Rafael looked away from him, he tried to hide a blush. “I- I just, never did relationships and I didn’t think that you would feel the same way, I thought that’s why we have been sleeping around together for the past few months.” He confessed. Sonny felt his heart drop, he didn’t know what to do. 

“I want you Rafael,” Sonny stopped him. “I have always wanted you and this- we can make this work right? I don’t wanna force you into a relationship because I’m having your child, I just want you to want me, on your own choice. We can try this out, this whole relationship and parent thing.” Sonny grabbed his hand and looked the other man straight into the eyes. “I want this, I want you.” 

Rafael had cut him off with a kiss. “I want you too. No matter what, I wanna be here for you, for our child,” He kissed the taller man again. This time with Sonny kissing him back. 

“Take me to bed,” Sonny whispered. “Please,”.

Rafael had kissed him hard and had picked him up, with Sonny having to wrap his long legs around the shorter man’s waist. He felt his moans in his mouth. 

He pulled him into Sonny’s bed, kissed him all over, whispering “I love you,” as he kisses his hip bone. 

Sonny could get used to this.

**Author's Note:**

> This was the longest fic I’ve ever written and I’m so proud of it 
> 
> Hi baby if you’re reading this I love you 
> 
> My Twitter is: @sonny_carisi


End file.
